ohmymaybee

2010-06-29T11:48:00.001-07:00

I love this picture so much.

2010-06-29T11:22:00.000-07:00

-thefistofartemis.

bp.

2010-06-29T11:15:00.001-07:00

Isn’t it disgusting that the police will quickly arrest a few anarchists for breaking a few windows, yet BP executives who trashed an entire ecosystem and communities walk free? Such is the violent nature of capitalism.
– Infoshop.org

Pro (some) life

2010-06-10T23:15:00.000-07:00

img borrowed from: http://women4hope.wordpress.com

This is one of the most intelligent arguments that I've read against those who say they are pro-life. This doesn't account for all of them of course, but when you think about it - it sure is a big chunk.

"Pro-Life or Anti-Sex:

A thought…

It seems to me that most Pro-Life people I know really aren’t Pro-Life at all. They are, rather, Anti-Sex. That is, the abortion debate is often just a cover to wage war on the sexual revolution and the Dawn of the Pill. What many Pro-Life people are angry about is the casual sexuality of our age, an era of “abortion on demand.” Pro-Life advocacy, then, is often (consciously or unconsciously) really a way to get sexually promiscuous people to face the “consequences” of sexual activity. The focus on life is often cover for Puritanical worries about sexuality in modern America.

Why do I draw this conclusion? Because most Pro-Life people I know are only Pro-Life in this one area, and only in this one area. They are not, generally speaking, consistently Pro-Life. For example, most Pro-Life people are…

…not Pro-Life when it comes to gun control.

…not Pro-Life when it comes to preemptive war.

…not Pro-Life when it comes to capital punishment.

…not Pro-Life when it comes to global malnourishment.

…not Pro-Life when it comes to universal health care.

…not Pro-Life when it comes to entitlement programs for the women and children of the working poor (to remove the economic incentives for abortion).

…not Pro-Life in promoting condom usage to prevent teenage pregnancy or AIDS in developing nations.

In short, the only thing many conservatives are Pro-Life about is, well, abortion. Which, incidentally, is the only thing on the list that’s about regulating sexual behavior.

Which kind of makes you wonder…"

--by Richard Beck

bust!

2010-06-09T12:39:00.000-07:00

This month's issue of Bust Magazine has an excellent ode to riot grrrl as well as other amazing women in music.

Bisexual Identity and Heterocommitment

2010-06-06T20:52:00.000-07:00

img borrowed from: http://www.indypendent.org/

I have a very lovely friend named Erin that I was able to meet face to face recently. I actually met her through my partner who had been friends with her through the internet for years and years. My partner had been trying to get me to become friends with Erin for some time because she insisted we had a lot in common, especially feminism and our views on the topic. There was no reason other than laziness that kept me from doing so for so long. When we did become friends, I realized my partner had been right. This girl is amazing. Erin is a bisexual woman who recently married her male partner. She wrote this amazing article about bisexual identity and heterocommitment which is something I've been questioning for some time now. What does happen to your bisexuality when you are in a committed relationship? Do you still have yearnings for someone of the same sex or opposite sex and how do you deal with that if so? I'm going to repost her article below - I highly suggest reading the rest of her blog too as she is an extremely intelligent person, and she brings up some excellent points about being a bisexual woman trying to stay true to her identity.

"Bisexual identity and heterocommitment

My last entry, about marriage and straight privilege, garnered two nice comments, both of which employed the term “straight ally” and implied that I am one. This is in spite of the fact that I spent a whole paragraph discussing the fact that I am not straight. I don’t think that this is because my commenters lack reading comprehension skills, but because sexual orientation somehow aside, “straight ally” seems to be the role I’ve stepped into. Is there really another term for a woman who believes in marriage equality and is married to a man?

When I was finishing my MA in Women’s and Gender Studies, I wrote my master’s project on feminist approaches to substance abuse treatment, which was interesting enough, but which was not really a research interest of mine; I chose that topic because it was relevant to a job I was applying for (and didn’t get). If I had it to do all over again, I would most definitely do my project – or maybe an entire thesis – on bisexual women who marry or otherwise commit to men, and what becomes of their queer identity. I know a LOT of women (and some men) who used to identify as bisexual but who now, in heterocommitted relationships, identify as straight. I suppose it’s easy enough to chalk this up to the bisexual until graduation phenomenon; although the article I linked to there is about a study that debunked that myth, it doesn’t seem like a myth to me at all.

I went through a period of being intensely angry about bisexuals renouncing their queer identity. “If my family were sucked off the face of the earth, I would never date men again,” one woman told me, only to say a few years later, after she’d met the man that she would marry, “I’m done with that part of my life.” How dare these people sell out this way! How dare they prove right all the bisexuality deniers – both straight and gay – who insist that bisexuality is just a phase or period of confusion! I’ve mellowed since then, allowing both for the fact that sexual orientation can be fluid over time and that, really, it’s none of my goddamned business how people identify. But I remain fascinated by this transition, and curious about how people negotiate it. For many of them, it doesn’t seem like a negotiation at all, just something that gradually shifts. But it hasn’t shifted for me, not a bit, and I don’t think it will. So I have spent a lot of time thinking about what it means to be married to a man and to still identify as bi.

Why is it even important to me, when I just stood up in front of almost 100 people and announced that I planned to happily spend the rest of my life in a heterosexual relationship? It’s important because even though I am in a long-term hetero relationship, I refuse to erase that part of my life. I came out – repeatedly, because it’s easy for people to conveniently “forget” that you’re bi during the times that you’re in in a hetero relationship – and it sucked. I came out to parents, friends, employers, and classrooms of fellow students. And I have loved women. And if someday I find myself single again – hopefully at a very old age, after a long and wonderful marriage – it’s entirely possible that I will love a woman again. So I can’t bring myself to say that I’m straight, when I am so very definitely not.

So, I am married and I am bi. And I feel that it is important that I not allow that part of my identity to be erased, that I not let people assume that because I have married a man, I have become straight. I feel the need to keep waving my little queer flag, to be living proof that for some of us, bisexuality is permanent. It was not an experiment, I did not just need to “meet the right man” to straighten me out. But even as I continue to embrace this identity, there is a sad sense of separateness and disconnectedness from the LGBT community; is there even a place for me there, other than as a “straight ally”? I like this quote from an Utne Reader article about postmodern queer identity:

Still, being a married bisexual person “does put you in a position of privilege,” write Marshall Miller and Dorian Solot in Anything That Moves (No. 20, 1999). “Now what are you going to do about everybody else?” they ask. “How can you practice responsible ownership of that privilege?” They offer four ideas: Stay visible; fight for all relationships and families to be treated equally in your workplace; practice good marital status etiquette—be sensitive to the fact that not everyone else can get married; and see yourself as part of the family diversity movement.

I find that incredibly affirming, especially the part about staying visible. What my issue is, really, is that I feel unsure as to whether or not I’m even entitled to consider myself queer anymore. Never mind who I’m attracted to (I’m definitely bi by that metric); can I be married and queer at the same time? Because I’ve known a whoooooole lot of queer folks who’ve gotten straight-married, and nobody is still identifying this way — or if they are, they aren’t talking about it. They have quite happily embraced the straight ally role. And I am still trying to find some space – in the LGBT community, and in my own mind – where I can be out and proud and married to a dude and living a life steeped in hetero privilege. It is a strange no-person’s land, seemingly, and I wish I didn’t feel quite so alone here."

-http://volvita.wordpress.com/

gender neutral bathrooms.

2010-06-04T23:12:00.000-07:00

img borrowed from martlet.ca

Can we talk about gender neutral bathrooms for a minute?

A couple years ago I had a big crush on this girl who quit the company we were working for and decided to start a new project. That project was Safe2pee. It's pretty clever actually, you know, if you're trans, or gender neutral, and you're uncomfortable walking into a bathroom and feeling unsafe. But this got me thinking. Last night I went to a riot grrrl show of sorts and I noticed that they had slapped some signs over the bathroom doors that said "gender neural". It sort of bothered me. Let me explain why:

As a woman who has had enough issues just walking down the street and getting harassed by men, why would I want to go into a bathroom with them? A closed off place that could easily turn into a very nasty situation. We all want to feel safe, but I for one would not feel even remotely safe being in the same bathroom with a man that I don't know. Actually, just the thought sort of really bothers me emotionally. A room that basically pertains to the exposure of our genitals. Using the bathroom is already sort of personal, but add a man to the equation and this is just an awful situation for many women who have had traumatizing experiences (which is a large percentage of the population in this world). I thought about this as i sat in the one stall that was in the men's bathroom feeling nervous that potentially, some random dude could just walk in at any time.

"The drive to ask for this comes from observing violence, harassment, and intimidation that is directed at some people routinely -- transgender people especially -- when they enter public facilities to undertake a basic human function." -http://queeraction.uchicago.edu/bathroomindex.html

See, I get this. I do. And I understand that people should just be more open minded and tolerant of one another. Unfortunately, that's just not the case. The majority of this world has an outdated mentality that needs to be worked on. This just seems like such a backwards idea to me. Bathrooms should be open for anyone so no one feels unsafe, but that leaves a large chunk of us feeling extremely unsafe. I just don't think this is a very well thought out idea. I personally like the idea of being all inclusive, but overall, we're just not there yet. As women, we are brought up to be alert and to make sure our surroundings are safe - which is an unfortunate circumstance in itself. But it happens for a reason. We're still so far behind and there is still great reason to be alert and be aware. Having gender neutral bathrooms sounds like a wonderful idea, but is that for everyone, or just those who refer to themselves as "gender neutral"?

afraid, not strong.

2010-06-04T23:07:00.000-07:00

I tried to explain how oppressive it is growing up a girl where you’re taught that Bad Things will happen to you because of what’s between your legs, how this reduces a girl to an object and tells her that SHE is the cause for a man’s violence and perversion; but he didn’t get it, quite. I told him it was like being under surveillance, all the time.

I said, “You raised us to be afraid, not strong. See the difference?”

-http://bitchphd.blogspot.com/

What I've Been Up To Lately...

2010-06-02T22:00:00.001-07:00

What I've Been Up To Lately...

This month has been super crazy (and by this month, I mean May). I flew 4 times this month. I've been to the east coast and the west coast. I've been up and down and re-discovering my city with a new friend. I went to see an excellent band play and I saw about 800 billion fish. I went to Disneyland and saw my family. I watched someone ride a Penny Farthing! I've eaten about a gallon of nachos and watched a bunch of movies. I've had dinner with a friend and have plans in the making for something AWESOME. The outcome of this month is another video!

We bash back.

2010-05-26T21:01:00.000-07:00

img borrowed from: http://landlockedlover.tumblr.com/

I've seen this before but I just really like it. It deserves a repost. I keep hearing people talk about how they want to be in a girl gang (myself included), but then it occurred to me; aren't we sort of already? Just by making these fliers, and writing these letters, and making these zines, and keeping each other informed, doesn't that count? I think it does. I think we're all a part of this giant girl gang. We're keeping each other safe and connected. We're letting each other know how to be active, telling each other when things are going on, informing each other how we can go about doing things to be progressive as a group. We're making it a priority to focus on girl love and acceptance and I think this all counts.

I really do believe it's true. We ARE everyone, and we ARE everywhere. I'm happy to know you've got my back, and I'm happy to announce that I have yours as well.

Whitewashed.

2010-05-21T22:32:00.000-07:00

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

We are crashing. We're crashing hard. Texas conservatives have won the vote to rewrite history in their textbooks. Not only are they eliminating Thomas Jefferson and instead replacing him with “religious right icon John Calvin.” -Huffington Post, but they are also doing away with church vs. state which is VITAL to the direction our country is headed. They have also decided to drop references to the slave trade and have begun referring to it as the Atlantic triangular trade. Cool! Let's just pretend there was no such thing as the slave trade. Let's just not take responsibility for one of the most hostile, brutal, and inhumane acts in all of human history. Yeah, that's a great idea. The more we erase, the better we appear. Which isn't even true. The more we erase, the stupider we look. The less educated we become. The further back we recede.
Can I just say that America, it seems, has the largest population of ignorant, hateful, oblivious, and uncultivated humans on the planet? And stupid people like to breed more stupid people. They like to teach them ridiculously insignificant information, and this is where our country is headed. White. Conservative. Religious. Hateful. How can we just rewrite history? It happened, there is no escaping that. It's so embarrassing. It's shameful.

I feel like the comment left by Westdale on that Huffington Post article I linked to was very right on:

"We are quite sincerely at a critical hingepoint in history. The country that boasted it represented the standard of liberty for the entire world, and usually lived up to that claim, is disintegrating as the rest of the world watches. I'm Canadian, and the open lies told about our (and others') national health care system by the right-wing/Republican faction are appalling - not just because they are being made but because no one challenges them. Listen, people - it's not just the Texas school book situation, it's multiple facets of your political, social and economic culture. Change it now or a generation in the future the U.S. will be assessed in a similar vein to Botswana and Albania. Really."

Who you gonna call?

2010-05-21T11:23:00.001-07:00

I've been watching a bunch of videos of people going out of their way to make others smile. One of which I really love because it not only has to do with one of my FAVORITE movies of all time, but was made as a result of the $37 MILLION dollar city budget cut. You know, I understand that a lot of Americans thinks "socialism" is the worst thing to ever grace this planet (which is utterly ridiculous and greedy) - but really? Taking away library funding is just going WAY too far. This video was made by a local improv group who wanted to cheer up the New York Public Library despite the unfortunate greed that is the American government. This was the actual library where the famous library scene is Ghostbusters was filmed. I love New York. The entire time I was in New York I wanted to see "the ghostbusters library" but never got around to doing so. I WISH I had been there during this!

So adorable.

Not So Sexy Sexism.

2010-05-18T22:34:00.000-07:00

Ain't it the truth.

img borrowed from http://radicalxstitch.tumblr.com

Call me.

2010-05-17T23:59:00.000-07:00

I borrowed this quote from My Rape Schedule which I would HIGHLY suggest reading because it's just so completely true. It's also quite ironic as I just had a conversation about this today with a boy who insisted that "god gave men dicks and they love girls and it's hard to control. Girls don't get horny a lot" As a girl who gets horny, I can assure you that it is, actually, quite easy to control. The point though, is that I agree so wholeheartedly with this article. I myself have had to make alternative routes just so I wouldn't get harassed all the way to work. I remember going into the store I was working at, crying because I was just so tired of hearing these sexual things about my body ALL the time. The new route I was taking had me walking up GIANT hills instead of just walking up a normal street like everyone else. All this to avoid having my body sexualized as it has been since I was just a tiny kid.

It's hard to even imagine the way I would see the world if this wasn't the case. It's hard to imagine how less afraid I would be of going outside alone as I still have this fear deeply embedded. Every time a male passes me on the street I get the same feeling, my heart starts beating faster, I hold my breath, my body is completely tense, and I am just waiting to hear what they have to say. What is their opinion of my body. I find myself staring at the ground constantly when there are so many other amazing things to see. It's a sad thing to feel this discomfort in your own skin that has nothing to do with your opinion of yourself really. It's so disappointing that people assume your body's value is something as simple as tits and ass. What about the curve of my hips that allows things to be carried so much easier? What about my strong arms that can turn my car around even WITHOUT power steering (it's hard, let me tell you..), What about my belly button that goes on FOREVER it seems? What about these sticky outtie ears? These tiny wrists? These constant hang nails? These freckles, and tiny hairs? What about these legs that pump furiously to go faster on my bike? These ankles that keep me steady on my roller skates? What about my intuition that allows me to know exactly what to do in times of need? What about those things? Those are the things I find value in. As for his opinion, this brain and these ears could care less.

(some of this is actually an excerpt from my zine. It went along swimmingly with what I was trying to say.)

On Guard by Le Tigre is one of my favorite songs. It could be the "Rape Schedule" anthem really. Listen to the lyrics.

Brontë Sisters Power Dolls

2010-05-16T22:28:00.000-07:00

This is like, one of the best things ever.

Bad Bad Hotels.

2010-05-11T23:17:00.000-07:00

Leave it to the gays to know how protest in the most effective way possible! This video was made in San Francisco (my home!) when a flash mob PROTEST (awesome!) kicked off in the middle of the Westin St. Francis hotel to "a boycott called by the workers of the hotel who are fighting to win a fair contract and affordable healthcare."

Pride is a HUGE event in San Francisco drawing in thousands upon thousands of people from all over the United States every year. This protest was put together by LGBTQ activists as a "creative way to tell the hundreds of thousands of LGBTQ people from all over the country coming to San Francsico in June for Pride to stay out of the boycotted hotels." It's extremely clever and also fun to watch which is such a great way to really get people to pay attention. I've been in TONS AND TONS of protests in my time, most of which have been marching down the street holding signs. This is a whole new spin on things and I really admire what they are doing to get their point across.

In New York.

2010-05-07T22:55:00.000-07:00

It happened! New York. We went, we saw, we protested the hell out of Wall St, and it was awesome. More than anything is was so empowering being around 10,000 other people who were using their voices in exactly the place they needed to be heard. We marched and held signs and said what needed to be said. And maybe, just maybe I flipped off Chase and let it all pour out as we walked by. And then of course I came home to find that my account was overdrawn. Oh, life. I had meant to close it before we left but there was some transaction going through (that I couldn't even recall) but there you have it. It still felt good. It was like this giant weight was lifted off my shoulders as we screamed together in unison there on Wall St.
I feel like this trip changed me in some way. It made me feel really connected to humans. A connection that I felt I had been lacking for quite awhile. Being around people of all colors and classes and ages just felt so amazingly good. Along with protesting, NY was 5 days of pure fun. I made new friends, rode the carousel in Central Park, saw the Statue of Liberty, bought falafel at 2 am next to Times Square, drank margaritas in Brooklyn, slept in a couple of really comfortable beds, wore a fluffy plush robe, saw the AMAZINGLY BRILLIANT Sister Spit, and so much more. It was the perfect trip.

Here is the video to prove it.

Love Yourself.

2010-04-20T14:30:00.000-07:00

Do it. It's way more fun than hating yourself to please other people.

img borrowed from http://curvesahead.tumblr.com/ and The Love Yourself Campaign.

International Girl Gang Underground Zine.

2010-04-14T21:55:00.000-07:00

For those of you who have yet to hear about the International Girl Gang Underground Zine it's about time you check it out. Stacy Konkiel of Soul Ponies and feminist writer and artist Kate Wadkins joined forces and decided to put out a collaboration zine pertaining to the riot grrrl movement of the 1990's and how we can move together as a new movement (or an evolved one.)

"Did riot grrrl ever go away? Maybe it just evolved. Right now there are thousands of people around the world who are producing music, writing zines, hosting workshops, and staging rebellions that are profoundly influenced by the Riot Grrrl movement of the 1990's." -Excerpt from their webpage calling for submissions.

Together Stacy and Kate are calling out the riot grrrls. They want your essays, memories, and experiences of being a riot grrrl in the 90s. But going a step further, they also ask people to write about how to bring on a revival of sorts. How do we "get off the internet and into the streets"? How do we "reclaim feminism for the 4th wave"? How can we "create spaces for working class, POC, international and rural women and queers". All in all, it's going to be an EPIC reunion and a giant step into the future together.

Tonight Stacy and Kate were both on the radio program "Feminist Magazine" based out of LA, where they talked about their mission and how to be a part of this movement. Check it out! These women are completely and utterly inspiring.

Listen Here.

Girl Gang.

2010-04-11T16:40:00.001-07:00

This is perfect. This is exactly what I want to be a part of.

New York New York

2010-04-11T14:45:00.000-07:00

Finally.. finally finally after all this time there is going to be a gigantic march on Wall St to fight back against the financial bailout. FINALLY! It's happening April 29th and there are supposed to be about 10,000 people there. COME! MARCH! Let's get our money back and actually DO SOMETHING about these rich bastards who walked away without so much as a slap on the wrists.

Looks like I'm going to New York.

Small things.

2010-04-10T10:55:00.000-07:00

It seems that anywhere I go these days I find an overabundance of extremely conservative right wing propaganda. Books are being written by Sarah Palin, Sean Hannity, Carl Rove, etc. I have yet to walk into a book store where the political books are even as far as political parties. Why? I went into a Barnes and Noble a couple nights ago with my partner and was BOMBARDED by Sean Hannity's face. Not only did he have an ENTIRE display, but his books were ALL over the store. It was pretty discouraging. So, instead of just walking right back out of the store, my partner and I took charge and turned every single one of his books around and then replaced the display with 1984 by George Orwell. I wish people would start to form their OWN opinions rather that what is said on Fox News. Is it really THAT HARD?! The worst part is that the news KNOWS that people are so lazy that they'll just listen to anything they have to say. Instead of doing the right thing and explaining both sides of the story, they knowingly brainwash and it actually WORKS.

img borrowed from superstangeland

It's just scary how right on 1984 actually is.

My favorite part of our little book replacement scheme was overhearing a worker saying "I just flipped those books back around!" after our little move had been discovered. After placing the 1984 books on top of Sean Hannity, a Barnes and Noble worker just stood and laughed at our new display and said "That's pretty funny!" and then dropped her head into another laugh. It made me feel pretty good that someone actually got what we were trying to say. As silly and small as it was, we still got a reaction. I even noticed a man pick up one of the books we put on top and start flipping through. It works!

A couple of weeks ago we were in a Borders and an entire wall was dedicated to conservative writers. Why not have a wall of books that we could ALL learn from? Let alone anything about the history of the country. So my partner replaced every single book with books like The Communist Manifesto, The Federalist Papers, Anarchy, and The Constitution. It's only right that people of all sorts should be getting a variety of information, rather that being force fed incorrect and hateful propaganda. People have completely forgotten what our country was based on. They don't understand that "conservative" now means a completely DIFFERENT thing than it did when our country was formed. Now it's about hate. It's about separation and religion and regurgitated information heard on the news. It's about fear and a lack of education. It's scary truth be told.
Thanks to a picture I saw on Left Take of a Sean Hannity book being placed in the "douche" aisle, we've begun doing this as well. It only feels right.

Consider this a mix tape of sorts.

2010-04-02T13:07:00.001-07:00

I've been making mix cds, posting virtual mixes, and youtube playlists all over the place lately. This is no exception. I've always been into music. Deep in love with it. I worked for a record label I really like last summer and got the chance to DJ in San Francisco which is something I've always wanted to do. Just the fact that I could play Beat Happening made me swell with joy. It's spring now. I'm drinking coffee now. Here are some bands I'm into.

Explode Into Colors See this band live. No, seriously. You think it sounds good here? Nothing compares to seeing them live.

Mika Miko I LOVE THESE LADIES! What up 1990?!

The Raincoats One of my all time favorite bands.

Brilliant Colors The best band I saw at the Slumberland Anniversary party (besides Go Sailor of course!)

>

Dear Nora Another one of my very long time favorite bands. Is it bad that I used a video that I made?

YACHT They are SO AMAZINGLY FUN! On top of having amazing messages in every song. This is my favorite song of theirs right now.

Lo-Fi-Fnk I randomly found this band and sort of realized they will be my summer soundtrack. My Cut Copy of 2010.

Cut Copy

Beat Happening The band I loved enough to get tattooed.

Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros Just so good...

The Trons WE'RE BEING REPLACED!

Wiggity warm weather.

2010-03-16T23:12:00.000-07:00

Let's mix things up a bit! I wanted this blog to be mostly a way for me to get things off my chest. But truthfully, that has become a bit overwhelming to me. I don't really want to focus on all the heavy things since there are tons of fun things happening - and I'd like to focus on those things since they make me feel lighter. I can only take on so much. Choose my battles. For now I choose fun. And that's what I've been having.

The weather has been warming up and my bike has been calling me. I can't deny a pretty lady. Especially my beautiful Nora!

Nora.

I've been going on some pretty epic bike rides lately. I just moved to this island a couple months ago and I've been taking any chance I have to explore it. I live a mere 10 minute bike ride from the beach. There is a perfect view of San Francisco, I'm pretty sure I'll end up here quite a bit as summer approaches. Last week my friend Janine, my girlfriend Brittany, and I all rode to the abandoned Navy base on the other side of the island. Our goal was to creep ourselves out by hanging around empty buildings and take a picture or two. What I didn't expect was all the AWESOME things we would find. There were a bunch of signs all around that said "bike shop" and pointed whichever way. We finally decided to check out this bike shop. We found this building with signs made out of old bike parts. It was the strangest thing. We walked inside and it was this bike MECCA in the middle of no where! A bunch of kids were being taught about their bikes and a guy came out of no where and gave us a tour. Apparently the place was to help homeless people get bikes.. and while you were at it, you could work towards getting your own bike. Pretty awesome. There was a spot to fix your own bike or get cheap help. I'm pretty sure I'll be going back a whole lot. So far I'm totally digging all the bike places in my community. Every one I've been to so far has been filled with ultra nice people that are actually helpful and don't make me feel so dumb not knowing everything about my bike (yet.) The guy that gave us a tour insisted that we keep riding down the road and find the distillery. A distillery? Who knew! So we did! We rode on down the road. We passed a skate park (what?) and some basketball courts and kept going until we found Hanger One. I really didn't expect any of this. We went in and found out they did alcohol tasting. Um, yes!

I'm not a huge liquor fan, I'm mostly a beer girl but we were here, we were queer, so why not? The entire wall behind the bar was windows that faced San Francisco.. it was pretty awesome. We tasted pear vodka, raspberry brandy, whiskies of all sorts, and this tea alcohol that tasted like honey. To top things off, we had absinthe. Although a lot of it made me cringe (you know, alcohol face) it was pretty good. While sipping one of our many drinks, Janine was telling me about a hula hoop class that goes on every week and is only 2 bucks! I totally want to go. I think the bartender girl overheard us because she opened the giant door to the distillery and said "Hey, you guys wanna hula hoop?" What? YES! There were all these hula hoops just hanging on the wall so we each grabbed one and started hula hooping all over the place. So much fun!

Along with fun bike rides have come a couple new friends, an awesome show and the roller derby. More on this soon enough.

Roseanne on Riot Grrrl!

2010-02-09T14:33:00.000-08:00

A friend of mine wrote an awesome post a couple weeks ago about calling out a man who was sexually harassing her and asking much too personal questions. She just got me thinking about how awesome it is that women are calling out men in these types of situations. I mean really, it's just AWESOME because not only is she writing to this man's employer about how uncomfortable he made her feel.. but she's probably voicing the opinion of many other women who are too nervous to say anything because we've been taught to be polite to the point of not knowing if saying NO is okay or not. I've thought about this before because it has happened to me so many times. One time that comes to mind was when I was on MUNI pretending to sleep and the man next to me started rubbing my leg. Then he moved his hand closer and closer to my crotch, and while I was completely frozen in fear.. I couldn't speak up because I wasn't SURE that he was doing what he was doing on purpose (he so totally WAS) and I didn't want to be impolite. I ended up unfreezing when he finally got off MUNI. I don't even know what he looked like because I couldn't move enough to look up. As soon as he was gone, I had a giant panic attack and started crying gallons of tears out of anger (at him and myself for not being able to say anything) and resentment. I later learned to be less hard on myself since this was my body's natural reaction to someone causing me pain.. curl up in a ball and it will all be over soon. Unfortunately, I'm TIRED of reacting this way.. I love my body but I am ready for it to LET LOOSE AND SCREAM. I think young girls especially should be taught that there is a difference between being polite and knowing boundaries. They need to learn when it is okay to not only speak up, but be aggressive. I think that if I had learned these things, I could have gotten myself out of a TON of really bad situations because boundaries would be crystal clear and not fuzzy like they have been in many situations in the past.

This is why my friend speaking up is a HUGE deal. This is why any woman speaking up is a HUGE deal. This is how feminism and riot grrrl saved my life. The fact that the riot grrrl movement has allowed women to not only speak up but YELL and SCREAM and MOVE and LET LOOSE instead of stand quietly with our hands clasped tightly and our mouths doing the same is re-training our bodies and brains to know when to say NO. I for one know I wouldn't be as strong or as empowered in my skin, especially after all the abuse my body has gone through. Especially after I've called the police on multiple occasions to come save my beautiful lady friends from being raped, abused, harassed, and assaulted by men.. or sometimes calling too late to have them pick up the broken pieces while I held their hands and let them scream. I don't know about some people, but if there's one thing riot grrrl has taught me, it's to be LOUD! For this, I am THANKFUL.

For those of you who have no idea what riot grrrl is, I would highly suggest reading THIS as it's pretty spot on. It changed my life. Also, in the midst of research, I was lucky enough to find this LOVELY LADY'S blog Soul Ponies. Her entry on Why 2010 will be the year of the riot grrrl revival if we want it to be got me super amped. I left her a comment and now we're on our way to starting something HUGE. I'M SO EXCITED!!!! I want to scream!

Today I was shown something SO AWESOME! I think I've seen every episode of Roseanne ever made (talk about a feminist!) but I don't remember ever seeing this episode about RIOT GRRRL! Crazy right?! Thanks to the lovely Amber for posting this on her facebook.

RIOT GRRRL!

Radical Self Love Month!

2010-02-06T20:06:00.000-08:00

Radical Self Love Month

Every now and then I'll pop my head into Gala Darling's world to see what she is up to. I'm not a big fan of fashion - I'm terrible at it truth be told, but I do appreciate Gala's overall mission. Allowing girls of all shapes and sizes, ages, and backgrounds to take a look at themselves and LOVE who they are. This is why I think her idea for Radical Self Love Month is pretty amazing. Here's a tid-bit from her blog:

"Distractions have their place but when they are never-ending, eventually they stop working…

As fun as it can be to have a boyfriend or girlfriend, go shopping or wear false eyelashes, life won’t really start to bloom until we’re comfortable with who we are. This is true every day, but becomes even poignant on Valentine’s Day, typically a celebration of someone else being in love with us.

So many of us are looking for someone else to fill a space, love & approve of us or take away our loneliness.

But whose love & approval is most important? Someone else’s? Or your own?" -Gala Darling via her Radical Self Love post

As a part of this months mission, she will be assigning homework and bringing up subjects of all sorts such as: "Girl love, body image, masturbation, jealousy, honoring & respecting yourself, positive self-talk, being assertive, manifesting your own dream girl persona & self-marriage are all up for grabs!" Pretty awesome! So, to start things off right, I went out and bought a moleskin, drew a giant anatomical heart on the front and got to work keeping track of my month of radical self love.

Anti Super Bowl

2010-01-22T13:08:00.001-08:00

My heart hurts just thinking about this and the fact that this country is continuously going backwards. It feels like I'm at the bottom of the doggy pile just gasping for breath while more people pile on. Alas, accoring to The Huffington Post CBS has decided to reverse their former policy of not allowing advocacy commercials and is now going to be airing commercials supporting pro-life thanks to the right-wing, anti-choice, evangelical Christian activist group Focus on the Family. They plan on starting this by airing these commercials during super bowl. Okay, for starters - really? Super bowl? How is showing a bunch of drunk dudes a bunch of pro-life commercials going to help in any way? Not to say that women don't watch the super bowl, but we all know who it is mostly focused TOWARDS. On top of that, how are commercials going to help at all? I don't know about you, but I've become an absolute PRO at canceling out all the regurgitated jargon that is force fed to us day after day in every way possible. But let me be straight forward about what I'm trying to say here. Evangelical Christians will not EVER change my mind. Just like I can't change theirs.. and this is something we all need to come to terms with. I believe that I have one life and I am not going to spend it by abiding by other people's RIDICULOUS ideas or standards. I will do WHAT I want with MY body and no one is going to stop me. Go ahead and ban abortions - women have revolted against that in the past by starting collectives such as the Jane Collective. We've learned to know our bodies and give abortions and take care of one another because that is what life is about. Support. No magical being, no evil evangelical group, NO ONE will stop that. Not ever. So they can try. They can air their little absent minded commercials without REALLY thinking about the consequences of what a pro-life world would really be like. Teenaged girls having children, molested women giving birth to insectual babies, rape victims not only having to recover to the post traumatic stress and distressing recollections of the event but also being reminded every single day what they went through when they give birth to babies that were painfully FORCED upon them. Jobs are scarce right now, food is NOT abundant and people are losing their homes and living in the streets. What kind of life are they providing for these babies? They try to make it sound so black and white but it's not. It never will be. This country is doing all it can to keep us down, to keep us stuck in lower to middle class and on top of it all, we're in a recession! There's one thing I don't think religious groups understand, women are strong. We're stronger than they might think, and we come together in times of need. This is one of those times of need. And we're coming together to stand strong and voice our experiences and opinions.

More than anything though, I am tired.. no, I am EXHAUSTED of the hateful religious vomit that has surfaced. Telling gays they can't marry, telling women they can't have abortions. Now listen up because I'm going to remind everyone of an important detail in our country's history; CHURCH AND STATE. Remember that? This little DETAIL needs to be RE-established. Re-heard! Fought for and taken care of. There needs to be a revolution between religions, a reminder of what religion is actually all about. Less hate, more love and acceptance and support for one another. This is our best bet. Stand up ladies (and gents!), we need VOICES!

Until then, I'm revolting against CBS.

Knowledge is Power.

2009-11-13T01:34:00.000-08:00

It's not a big surprise that feministing.com is one of my favorite websites. They keep me up to date on issues that I care most about and I hold a place in my heart for these women who speak out. There was a post today about a woman who doesn't really masturbate. She also didn't know where her clitoris was until she was out of college. I don't blame her, I mean really - where was she supposed to get this information if it's not provided? This was what she wrote:

"Inner and outer sexual conflict
I just read another post in this community about conflict between being a feminist yet not feeling like a feminist because of self-esteem issues. (And I apologize if I am putting my words into her mouth...) I have the same feelings, but dealing with a different issue.

I can't masturbate.

Well, physically I can, but it takes a lot of nerve for some reason and I can't actually enjoy it. No one ever told me it was wrong. No one told me about it period. I have older sisters and drunkenly asked them one day if they had ever masturbated. They hadn't. One is 10 years older than myself, but never has.

When looking inward, I note that I feel ashamed of that part of my body. It's foreign to me and uncomfortable to think about. The one time I actively masturbated, I didn't get anything out of it.

I feel silly admitting this, but I didn't know where my clitoris was until I was out of college. I don't remember any of my sex ed classes ever mentioning that and no boyfriend deemed it worthy of attention either.

I'm not ashamed of my body anymore, but I'm also not comfortable with it. I've come to realize that I like my body because the man in my life likes my body. He is reassuring and loving and very comfortable with his body. Yet during sex I have never orgasmed. And since I've never successfully masturbated, that means I've never ever orgasmed.

I own a vibrator but never worked up the nerve to use it. Sex feels good, but stimulation is so full of sensation it hurts. I honestly don't blame my husband for me not orgasming, because if I can't relax to give myself one, an outside force is not the answer. I'm not sure if this post means I'm looking for answers or that I'm just trying to write down what I've been feeling for years now. Any response is welcome. Even while writing this, I'm still confused about what, if anything, is wrong."

I just felt the need to clarify that she's not alone on this subject. I also wanted to let her know that the best way to have an orgasm is to feel comfortable with herself.. that really is the only way. This was my response and I feel pretty good with how it turned out.

"Okay - I need to start by saying that this post made me sad.. but also that this is so common it's not even funny. I used to work for Good Vibrations (women focused sex shop in San Francisco) for years and women would come in DAILY with the same issue. One woman in particular stands out in my mind. She was in her 50's and had never had an orgasm while having sex. This is when I had to give her the news: about 90% of women can't have an orgasm from penetration alone.. it's all about the clitoris. This woman started crying before me, saying she had thought something was wrong with her for all these years. That broke my heart because it's true, hardly any women know this because of the lack of PROPER sex education.
I had to work hard to get the information I now have. After living a life of harassment and abuse, I decided to figure out my body so that it was MINE. So that I knew EVERYTHING I needed to know about it and this is when everything changed. I really feel that you can't fully enjoy sex with another person until you REALLY know your body and what it likes and dislikes.. and how it responds to some things and not other things. A partner can help, sure.. but it really comes down to you focusing on yourself and knowing all your parts, the names of them and how they function. I have to say, this will also boost your self esteem by about a million percent because you won't need someone else to tell you why you should love yourself. You'll know it! Knowledge really is power."

Pride 2009

2009-06-30T08:51:00.000-07:00

Watch in HQ!!!

This is what I've been up to lately...
(Pride Edition!)

I've been having so much fun lately, and this past weekend was no exception. In fact, i would go so far as to say it was probably my favorite weekend so far in 2009. The feeling of how lucky I am to live where I live pumps through my veins when I am surrounded by San Francisco coming together as a community. I'm extremely lucky.

Side note, a friend's dad saw this video and wants me to do freelance work for him! Amazing!

Fuck You Very Much.

2009-05-11T10:45:00.001-07:00

In the spirit of what I've been writing about recently, this video is so right on -I couldn't NOT post it.

Zines!

2007-09-14T22:19:00.000-07:00

image borrowed from http://agoodideaonpaper.blogspot.com

"A zine—an abbreviation of the word fanzine, and originating from the word magazine[1][2]—is most commonly a small circulation, non-commercial publication of original or appropriated texts and images. More broadly, the term encompasses any self-published work of minority interest.
A popular definition includes that circulation must be 5,000 or less and the intention of the publication is not primarily to raise a profit."

Whenever I try to talk about zines to people, they either have no idea what I'm talking about or they're all about them. I was living in Boston when I found my first one by accident one fateful valentines day. I was looking through the magazine shelf when I came across a tiny handmade booklet with long typed out pages. Typed like typewriter not computer. The cover had been watercolored and the drawings were so simple..it was love at first sight. I wrote to that girl, the author of that first zine and she sent me back a letter. We talked about our travels and other simple things. A couple days later I found another zine by Cindy Crabb, it was called Doris:

For years I moved across the country, and everywhere I ended up I would find another little Doris zine, always by accident. I was living in a house in Anaheim with a bunch of activist kids and one of them brought home a bunch of photocopied booklets to staple and distribute. One of them was the Doris anti-depression guide..I read that zine so many times that it was wrinkled and food splattered and falling apart.
I guess I like the idea of zines in general. A small way to be opininated, a way to be an activist and a way to get the word out about anything and have people respond in other small ways. Word of mouth, or a response zine or letters or meetings - so many ways! I like that they are so small because i like to carry them around in my back pocket or have them with me anytime i'm on a bus or have time to spare in general. I like that I learn something from every single one I read and I like that the community is small enough that when someone inspires me, I can tell them so and actually form a relationship with that person.
5 years after I read that first Doris zine, I was walking down the street in my new town when I came across a Good Vibrations the women focused worker owned activist sex shop. I had read about the store in the Doris anti-depression guide years before and now here was the shop right in front of me! A year and a half later I started working at Good Vibrations and I've contacted Cindy who is now writing a zine my store! It's so exciting, the way things and people can come together through this tiny little medium. I've met so many amazing women through zines and felt a feeling of community which is amazing to me.

Curves.

2007-06-05T18:39:00.000-07:00

I just emailed Levi's because it was nearly IMPOSSIBLE to find a size 14. A size 14! I am sick and tired of feeling like I am not supposed to be curvy. Like it's not how women are supposed to be shaped. When I look in "normal" sized stores I find that everything is too small, and when I shop in the "plus" sized stores, everything is wayyy too big. So where do I belong? I have hips because I'm supposed to and all I've been able to find in any store i've gone into is a size 0-6. I was lucky to stumble over 1 pair of size 14 shorts yesterday at Old Navy. It was the last pair they had...sooooo you would THINK they got the clue. Girls are not size 0's which is why there are 190489105205 pairs left over and no size 14's or god forbid, anything OVER a size 14 left in the store. It's because this is the only thing we can fit our hips into. Apparently evolution got it wrong..we are obviously supposed to be shaped like sticks..and these hips? A mistake thanks to nature. Riiiiiight. So what did I do? I wrote them a goddamn letter.

"I went into your San Francisco store today and was disgusted that the only sizes that were on display were 0 and 1. Me being a size 14 was of couse disgruntled that it was difficult to find ANYTHING in my size. A girl next to me was having the same problem and she was a size 6-8...what is the problem here? You are producing sizes for women that are maybe 1 in 100! A size 0 and 1! That's all they had! This was for multiple styles and it was absolutely ridiculous! Women are not sticks, we have CURVES and this does not mean we should only have to wear tapered jeans. Please come to your senses and realize that we are not models. We eat and that's OKAY. By displaying these disgustingly small sizes you are encouraging eating disorders and giving women the wrong body image. Get your act together! Just because I wear a size 14 means I have to pay $58 dollars vs. the $29.99 for the small sizes?! Are you kidding me? Also, having your sales people say "ohhh...they don't make these over a 12" The fact that I have curves means I am not allowed to wear pants?"

I've gone down a pants size since I started losing weight. I have this idea in my head, that even if I do lose more weight I DO NOT want my curves to go away!!! NO!!!!! I love them!! I love the way curvy girls look, and I am being 100% sincere when I say this. It just looks so..hot! It really does, to me anyway. Not to say there is anything wrong with girls who don't have curves, I think all women are awesome, it's just that curves are my fortay but how did they become so unwanted in the eye of fashion? How did a size 8 become "plus" sized? And how did we get people like Tyra Banks telling us what a body should look like? A woman who was so pissed off that people considered her to be fat at a size 6. So mad that she televised herself going crazy screaming that she is not fat! Welcome to our world. So what does she do? She adds a "plus sized" model to her show America's Next Top Model..sort of ironic if you think about it. The plus sized girl was a size 6. And at a size 14 I am obese. I am so big that I am not allowed to wear pants in the eyes of clothing stores. Unless I go into a plus sized store in which case nothing fits me because I am not plus sized. I have a small waist and bigger hips. Where does this leave me?

"This weekend I became convinced that there is a similar island called 'The Island of the Girls with Hips,'and it is only a matter of time before I’m taken in the night and forced to spend my life there. And I’ll have no hope for a happy ending. I have hips. I want that clear and up front. Protruding from either side of me, below my waist, are two bony knobs, which form what many doctors call 'baby-bearing hips.' These are obviously some sort of anomaly to the world, since at the mall this weekend I found no clothes that recognized them as normal. Let me just put this straight. I am not fat. In fact, I’m decently thin. But I have that hourglass shape that supposedly is so desirable, but no clothing manufacturer admits exists. Shopping for skirts, pants, dresses is a nightmare and there are certain stores that I walk in knowing I’ll walk out in tears. Ann Taylor does not believe in hips. I don’t know if she has them or not, but I know she doesn’t allow anyone working at her stores to have them. Her dresses are cute little sheaths or slim skirts, where the waist and hips are different in circumference by about a half-inch. Express only believe in hips when you find the occasionally a-line skirt. Don’t even think of pants. Gap hates hips, but has made one concession – Reverse Fit jeans. Though hard to find, these jeans are the staples of my wardrobe and the only hint I have of a hip-friendly future." -Jennifer Lofquist

To read the rest of the article (which I can relate to so well!) go here: a moms love

For all you girls out there who have had a hard time finding a pair of jeans that FIT, speak out! Write letters, inform managers, draw hourglasses and insist this body is correct and DEMAND clothes that are designed to fit your sexy figures!

Reclaim yourself.

2007-05-26T16:38:00.000-07:00

I wanted a place to keep track of things. I want to hear stories and explain situations and write down my findings on women and sex and our bodies and what they mean and how they work and why they are treated how they are in this society. I want a place for people to go when they have questions and I want to be asked questions to find answers through research and experience. Ohmymaybee is a blog about women, choices and decisions based on health and information.

(picture by Cristy C. Road)